Our newest children!

Our two newest children came to Casa Shalom last night around 9pm. Keily, 9, and Carlos, 7, arrived at the orphanage after being removed from a bar, where they were with their parents, who were very drunk. The crazy thing to me is that after the police officers took the children away, the parents returned to the bar to continue drinking.  I can't imagine that life.  Praise the Lord that these children are now here at Casa Shalom where they can learn how to be children and grow in a healthy environment.  

Drive in Guatemala.... CHECK!!

For a good 60 seconds I had about 40 children chanting, "JENNY, JENNY, JENNY" as we drove down the road. All 40 children were stuffed inside a 15 person passenger van that I was driving.  They were yelling my name because they wanted me to drive faster!  Which by the way, Grandma... I didn't!! So I can now check "Driving in Guatemala" off my list of things to do someday. :) Never thought my first time would be with 40 children and house moms though.

 I believe I had every child and house mom flabbergasted that I knew how to drive and that I own a vehicle in the states. I had at least 10 kids ask me how I learned how to drive or if I can drive them again! haha Our first all orphanage outing since I have been here. I'd have to say that it was pretty amazing.  At one point a little girl around 5 years old was standing with her friend in the middle of the van between the driver and passenger seat. I looked over and saw her fast asleep on her friends shoulder.  Not only did she fall asleep standing, but also with the noise of 39 other people in the car.  It was awesome but I was the only one that thought it was funny or strange. I was also the only white person in the van!

Here are a few pics that I took from the driver's seat. It of course doesn't do it justice.  And I think about 10 people aren't even in the picture since they were more or less in the passenger and front seat with me.  I think next time we'll try for 50 kids. :) Why not!

Our older kids piled in the back of our truck. Wish we could still do this in the states!

Vaccination Time!

About a week and a half ago we took 12 kids under the age of 5 to get their Polio shots.  Yes, 12 kids.  No matter where you live that many kids and shots is always an experience.  Fortunately, only 8 of the 12 had to have shots and the others a check-up.  I had no idea what to expect but I was super excited to go, saying the person who didn’t have to have a 2 inch needle go into my leg or arm.  The health center was an outside facility with a courtyard.  It was 9am and already there where 10-15 people waiting.  We managed to wait for almost an hour before the first victim’s name was called.  Jose David, age 5.  Within minutes of him being in the room we all could hear the screams and loud crying.  He came walking out of the room with tears rolling down his cheeks.  Before we couldn’t get this kid to sit still and now he sat down quietly as they called the next kid’s name.  The assistant director was the one in the room with the kids and nurses while I and the two house mom’s stood outside trying to keep the kids under control.  Not as easy as it sounds.  When they got to the 4th child’s name it was Mynor. I brought him into the nurse’s office to pass him to the asst. director.  Mynor is a 2 year old boy who is very very shy.  He doesn’t know the asst. director very well so he started bawling.  So she passed him backed to me and without speaking about it we changed places.   For the rest of the children I stayed in the office. :) I helped the nurses give the shots by holding the children in my arms and telling them it was going to be ok.  An incredible experience in many ways.  

Jenny

That morning helped me understand each child better and how they deal with fear and the unknown. Two things that are very common for these kids.  A few of the children stand out to me.  Jenny, a 3 year old that has been at the orphanage since the end of February, was physically abused by her mother.  She came to the orphanage with bruises and pinch marks all over her body. I held her hand as we entered the room and she walked in smiling and singing a tune.  She appeared as if she just got off her favorite ride at the amusement park.  So happy and giggly.  When we were in the room she sat on my lap and I just kept telling her it was going to be ok and she just kept smiling and singing.  Then it was time.  When the needle was in view and it was time for her shot she began to freak out and cry.  She’d say over and over, “No, no I don’t want a shot! No, no!”  It broke my heart to see this 3 year old girl try and be “grown up” by hiding her fears and masking them with her giggling face and a cheerful smile. 

Sergio (left) and Mynor (right)

Sergio, age 4, is another boy who stands out in my mind. He has been at the orphanage since January or February.  He was the last one to get his shots.  Every time I came out of the room to bring in a new child he would ask me, beg me, to take him.  He would repeat over and over that he wanted a shot, in fact he wanted two! This made everyone laugh since most 4 year old children don’t beg for a shot.  He would try and come into the room with me to watch the other kids get theirs.  Then it was his turn.  He sat on my lap with his head held high.  He appeared very overconfident.  Then the needle came out.  And he flipped.  He started yelling, “No no.. I don’t want a shot! No!!!!” He started kicking and throwing his arms so we had to have 3 people hold him still while the nurse gave him the shot.  He sat on my lap and I bear hugged him holding down his arms as two other nurses held each leg so he didn’t kick anymore.  After he had his two shots, one in the arm and one in the leg, he fell to the floor screaming and crying.  Every time one of us tried to pick him up he would try to hit us and scream at us, “No, don’t touch me.” Finally, I just grabbed him and held him in my arms while he kicked me and tried to push away.  That only lasted for a few short seconds.  I took the hand of the other little boy that decided to watch and we walked back into the waiting area.  Everyone in the waiting area chuckled because this was the arrogant little boy who was sure he wanted a shot.  He continued to cry for another 5 minutes in my arms and would get mad if anyone talked to him. 

Believe it or not, this little event helped me immensely understand this boy on a deeper level.  He was so scared, so nervous, so he put up his defenses.  He appeared confident and brave, when really on the inside he wanted to pee his pants.  Then after the shots he tried pushing everyone away, when again on the inside he was hurting for love.  With kids like him, with people like him, it’s so easy to stop there.  To stop when he starts kicking and pushing us away.  A part of us wants to believe that we are respecting what he wants.  That’s why they are called the “difficult children”.  His overconfidence is really his defensive mechanism that causes him to lack the love he desires and needs.  Or I wonder if it is the love he soo desperately desires and lacks that causes his overconfidence.  So I love him anyways.  When he pushes me away I go back.  When he’s disobedient I tell him what an amazing boy he is and how much I love him.  For this, I need God and His constant reminders that Sergio has enough people yelling at him and telling him what to do, but only I am there telling him how great and special he is.  I’m not writing this to pat myself on my back, because I know that it’s all God.  You can never tell a child too often how much the Lord loves him and how special he is.  Those are words that can never be worn out, but unfortunately those are words that are preciously rare to these children.  So I feel honored to share God’s love with these children and then slowly watch how God begins to heal their open wounds.

Shots at the Guatemalan health center... another amazing experience to add on to my list! :)

Love knows no language

Love knows no language.  Wiliam has confirmed what this truly means to me.  When my spanish lacks and is inadequate, he shows me that we don't need words to show our love for eachother.  These eyes and this smile is God's daily gift to me.  He's precious.  He never has a shortage of hugs, kisses, or smiles for me.  He gets angry at me when I leave the house and is attached to my leg when I come home.  He hardly keeps me out of his sight.  I love this little man so much.  We came to the orphanage the same day and his personality and love only grows each day.  I pray the day this boy leaves the orphanage he knows how deep and how wide the love of the Lord is.  That God has always been and will always be holding him in his hands.  That He gives unlike any human can.  That he will always be there to care for him.  God will never leave him or abandon him.   Like my niece says, "God is POWERFUL!" Thank you Lord for Wiliam who will forever be a part of me.



Wiliam, age 3

"When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.  And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
--Ephesians 3:14-21 NLT

Parent's Day

Yesterday was parent visiting day.  Any parent of the child who has permission from the judge can come to the orphanage to visit their child/ren. They are able to do this the last Sunday of every month.  I don’t know how many parents ended up coming but I would say probably 10 -15.  They can stay for 4-5 hours and have lunch and visit.  Then they leave.  And just like that it’s over.  Then it’s our job to hold them as they cry for their parents.  To rock them to sleep when they wake up crying for their mama.  To tell them that everything is going to be ok.  But is it?  It makes me so sad but I have to remind myself why these children are here in the first place. Because they have terrible parents.  Parents that abuse them, that make them beg for money, force them to work, parents that don’t care enough about their education, hygiene, or nutrition.  And while some of that is because they are too poor to provide a meal- most of it is because they just aren’t good parents.  A part of me is so happy these children get this day, but then a part of me is so mad that they are the reasons they are here. 

For one 7 year old girl, it’s her favorite day.  She can’t wait to give her Daddy a huge hug and just be held in his arms.  He loves on her and tells her sweet things like how they will be a happy family soon and he will get her out of the orphanage and take her home.  They share food and laughs and then the 4 hours is up.  He leaves and she bawls.  Then for the next few days she acts up, a lot.  She disobeys and talks back.  It breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart because this is the second time she has came to Casa Shalom.  Her father did just that the last time.  He took her home to be a sweet family again.  Then months later they found him wandering the streets stumbling drunk as his 7 year old daughter was left at home alone.  Her dad is an alcoholic and the mom isn’t in the picture.  Her dad also gives me creeps in which I would never leave any children near him alone. This is the same dad that puts a huge smile on this little girl’s face.  At Casa Shalom this girl receives 3 meals a day, an education, a bath every day, new/clean clothes, her own bed, and get’s to be a child.  But is that enough?  Does that surpass the broken love of a parent? 

I also got to see the parents of William and Roxanna whom I have become way too attached.  All the parents and children were sitting in chairs in the cafeteria.  Sara (the other volunteer) and I walked in and sat in the very back.  William saw me and yelled “Jenny!” which is something he always done when I enter any room.  Then after 5 minutes or so Roxanna pushed to get out of her mom’s arms to be on the ground. Once on the ground she weaved through chairs and came to me to sit on my lap.  I picked her up to give her a quick hug because of course her mom was watching.  She sat on my lap and didn’t move to be put down.  I looked at Sara and with a smile on my face whispered, “Oh shoot, this isn’t good.  What do I do?” And Sara quickly said,  “I have no idea, send her back. The mom is staring at us.”  So I put her back down on the ground and prayed that she would go back to her mom.  Then Sara and I left the room.  It was awkward. We did not want that to happen again with her or any of the other children.  On one hand, it’s Roxanna’s mom and you would think she wouldn’t want to go to anyone else, on the other hand, she hasn’t seen her mom in almost a month and Sara and I have been the ones loving on her and giving her constant attention.

But it happened again later on.  Sara and I walked by the family eating lunch and we all exchanged a hello.  Roxanna spotted us and tried to walk to us when the mom picked her up.  She started crying and the mom just looked over at us and smiled.  It was awful.  I had split emotions.  I felt so bad for her mom.  That she has to deal with the fact that her baby is being loved on and rocked to sleep by another person.  That she doesn't get to hug and kiss her baby goodnight.  But then I also wanted to take her out of her mom’s hands.  That’s when I realized I’m a little too attached. J

I think I’ll be better prepared for next parent visiting day. So thankful that God sent me to love on each one of these children and I know they are blessing me way more than I have blessed them.

A New Hope

On March 5^th, at around 4 pm the door opened and in walked 2 social workers and 3 children. It was my very first day at Casa Shalom and already we were receiving new children.   Ages 8, 3, and 15 months.  Scared, filthy, exhausted, and eyes filled of hopelessness.  The 8 year old girl looked more like she could be 6 and had what could be a sunburn across her face.  Raw, red skin with little bumps that looked like a rash or small blisters.  When they took the 8 year old away to her separate house the younger children screamed and cried.  I held the 3 year old boy as he screamed.  He smelled like he hadn’t taken a bath in months.  It took about 20 minutes before he was calm. 

(Posted on the Casa Shalom blog: Pictures of 8-year-old Candelaria, 3-year-old Wiliam and 1-year-old Roxana when they first arrived at Casa Shalom. They've been living on the streets with their parents who made them beg for money and wash car windows for spare change. Candelaria has never been to school and the children are all malnourished and small.  The picture of the 8 year old and baby girl does not do justice to how small they both are.)

The house mom and I took him into the bathroom to bathe him.  First we pulled off his black rubber boots.  Immediately I could smell the sweat of dirty feet.  He had no socks on and his feet were stained with dirt.  We then took of the rest of his clothes and he screamed for his older sister. Awww… I will never forget what he was wearing.  As we began to put the warm water over him his tears began to fade.  A warm bathe in Guatemala in more difficult to come by so I’m assuming this was his first one.  He looked almost paralyzed from the fear and the warmth of the water on his skin.  The first few days he hardly spoke two words.   The 15 month old, Emily Roxana, wears 6-9 month clothes.  She is very malnourished.  For the first 5 days she looked exhausted like she hadn’t slept in weeks.  She wouldn’t smile and her eyes seemed so empty.

It’s been two weeks now and you wouldn’t even know these were the same kids.  William, the 3 year old, has one of the most handsome grins I’ve ever seen.  He is very sweet, loving, and energetic.  He constantly cares for his little sister.  Every day when we give out vitamins to the children he always gives half of his to his sister.  We have to tell him every time that we give her one to and he can have all of his.  He still doesn't stop giving. There are no words for Roxana. If I could take this girl back to the states with me I would. Frankly, I would take them both.  Roxana is hilarious.  Anytime another child cries she looks at them and fake cries.  I swear she does it to make fun of them.  She is constantly trying to mimic everything the big kids do.  Today she learned how to roll her eyes and I was her first victim. Of course I laughed so she repeated it over and over.  Everyday, more and more of the true Roxana comes outs.  I can’t wait to watch her grow over these next 3 months.

I am blessed. I am here in Guatemala by the grace of God. Even though I know how blessed and lucky I am, I still have to remind myself daily of God’s loving grace.  It’s not always so fun and easy, but then again that’s life… no matter where you’re living it.  I know it’s been a good day when I crawl into bed and my back and arms hurt from holding too many children. Those are wonderful aches and pains.  Thank you all for your prayers.

Moving to Guatemala...again

In a few hours, many men and women will join together in a small room and begin learning how to read and write.  I will be going to take care of the children while they can learn for 3 hours. This will be their 3rd time meeting.  Their main goal is that they will be able to read the bible for the first time. Last Sunday, my Pastor talked about how a person who cannot read is a person who is blind.  A strong parallel.
 
Right now I am looking into buying audio bibles for the men and women in my community.  I recently wrote on facebook that if anyone feels blessed to help me by donating money to buy one or by donating their old cd/cassette player that would be a huge blessing.  What a huge difference it could make to so many people to be able to hear about Jesus Christ for the first time.  For me, it almost seems impossible to think that there are people still in this world who have never even heard about Jesus before.  Something again I take for granted.

On Monday I will be moving again.  A whole new routine, schedule, new environment, new bed, and different friends. It will feel like I'm going to Guatemala again for the first time.  Monday, I start working at the orphanage.  At Casa Shalom, the orphanage, their are many different buildings with different aged groups of children.  For the next three months I will be living in the babies room. The babies room houses children aged newborn to 4 years old.  Right now the youngest baby is 10 months old.  I will basically play "mom" for 10-12 little children for the next 3 months and I couldn't be more excited.  This is a dream come true for me.  I have no idea what to expect but unlike every other new experience I have entered, this time-- I'm not nervous.  If the Lord has blessed me with one thing it's the ability to love and care for children.  It comes easy to me.  Some people are gifted at a cooking, or playing basketball, preaching at a church, or photography.  Me... I love to care for children.  That's my "thing".  And I believe without a doubt that it's a God given love. 
 

My first blog!!

My first "blog"....ever. I always told myself I would never become a blogger and here I am. Yesterday marks 3 weeks in San Bartelome, Guatemala. Some days it feels like 3 months.  Already I have done so much.  I am so blessed to be here and excited to see where the path leads that God has already laid out for me.  I believe with all my heart that I am not here by mistake.

I decided last year in March or April that I was going to go to another Spanish speaking country with one of my roommates.  We were hoping to go at the beginning of January and stay for 3-6 months. August came and went, then September, October, then November and I still didn't have a glimpse of a plan except that I wanted to go "somewhere" in January.  All it took was one visit with an old neighbor who grew up in Guatemala for the next 6 months of my life to fall into place.
And here I am. In a small town in Guatemala. Living with a WONDERFUL family who happens to be my neighbors family.  I live and help out at a Christian Church and get to experience life here as a true Guatemalan.  I visit families, newborn babies, the sick, go to the mercado everyday to help buy lunch, play soccer with kids, and attend church 3 times a week. I have bible study on Monday nights, fast every Tuesday and youth group on Saturdays.  We pray over people in their houses, at church, or at their businesses.  Little did I know this would be my life for the next 5 months. I am so fortunate to be here.
In two weeks I will be starting work at a nearby orphanage called Casa Shalom.  I get to go visit it for the first time tomorrow!! I've already been told that I'm going to be staying in the babies room.  I am very excited to begin working with kids, especially orphans.  I've always felt that God has laid it upon my heart to care for his children, especially the orphans. After all, that is what the Bible tells us we were called to do. 
My first week here I went with the Pastor and his daughter Raquel to visit a small town called Agua Colorada. It is a very very poor community.  Most of the people that live here have many kids who don't attend school and many of the parents are illiterate as well.  Starting next week the church is going to be going to this community once or twice a week to begin teaching the parents how to read.  This way they can be able to read the Bible. 

The women in Agua Colorada are incredible in my eyes.  When we went to visit we got to see where they do their laundry.  It's a beautiful place where the water runs off the side of the mountain and pools at the bottom.  However, it is a long, steep and rocky trek to the bottom and these women do it at least 3 times a week.  I believe it took about 20 mins each way. As if that isn't enough they have to carry their laundry on top of their heads, typically with a baby on their back and a toddler holding their hand. It's really incredible.... and sad. Here is a picture of one lady that was on her way down to wash the clothes.

Pictures of them washing their clothes.

I'm excited to be able to share my experiences here in Guatemala. I'm hoping that I will also keep up with this blog! Thank you all for your prayers and support.

Love, Jenny

Philippians 2:13