Parent's Day

Yesterday was parent visiting day.  Any parent of the child who has permission from the judge can come to the orphanage to visit their child/ren. They are able to do this the last Sunday of every month.  I don’t know how many parents ended up coming but I would say probably 10 -15.  They can stay for 4-5 hours and have lunch and visit.  Then they leave.  And just like that it’s over.  Then it’s our job to hold them as they cry for their parents.  To rock them to sleep when they wake up crying for their mama.  To tell them that everything is going to be ok.  But is it?  It makes me so sad but I have to remind myself why these children are here in the first place. Because they have terrible parents.  Parents that abuse them, that make them beg for money, force them to work, parents that don’t care enough about their education, hygiene, or nutrition.  And while some of that is because they are too poor to provide a meal- most of it is because they just aren’t good parents.  A part of me is so happy these children get this day, but then a part of me is so mad that they are the reasons they are here. 

For one 7 year old girl, it’s her favorite day.  She can’t wait to give her Daddy a huge hug and just be held in his arms.  He loves on her and tells her sweet things like how they will be a happy family soon and he will get her out of the orphanage and take her home.  They share food and laughs and then the 4 hours is up.  He leaves and she bawls.  Then for the next few days she acts up, a lot.  She disobeys and talks back.  It breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart because this is the second time she has came to Casa Shalom.  Her father did just that the last time.  He took her home to be a sweet family again.  Then months later they found him wandering the streets stumbling drunk as his 7 year old daughter was left at home alone.  Her dad is an alcoholic and the mom isn’t in the picture.  Her dad also gives me creeps in which I would never leave any children near him alone. This is the same dad that puts a huge smile on this little girl’s face.  At Casa Shalom this girl receives 3 meals a day, an education, a bath every day, new/clean clothes, her own bed, and get’s to be a child.  But is that enough?  Does that surpass the broken love of a parent? 

I also got to see the parents of William and Roxanna whom I have become way too attached.  All the parents and children were sitting in chairs in the cafeteria.  Sara (the other volunteer) and I walked in and sat in the very back.  William saw me and yelled “Jenny!” which is something he always done when I enter any room.  Then after 5 minutes or so Roxanna pushed to get out of her mom’s arms to be on the ground. Once on the ground she weaved through chairs and came to me to sit on my lap.  I picked her up to give her a quick hug because of course her mom was watching.  She sat on my lap and didn’t move to be put down.  I looked at Sara and with a smile on my face whispered, “Oh shoot, this isn’t good.  What do I do?” And Sara quickly said,  “I have no idea, send her back. The mom is staring at us.”  So I put her back down on the ground and prayed that she would go back to her mom.  Then Sara and I left the room.  It was awkward. We did not want that to happen again with her or any of the other children.  On one hand, it’s Roxanna’s mom and you would think she wouldn’t want to go to anyone else, on the other hand, she hasn’t seen her mom in almost a month and Sara and I have been the ones loving on her and giving her constant attention.

But it happened again later on.  Sara and I walked by the family eating lunch and we all exchanged a hello.  Roxanna spotted us and tried to walk to us when the mom picked her up.  She started crying and the mom just looked over at us and smiled.  It was awful.  I had split emotions.  I felt so bad for her mom.  That she has to deal with the fact that her baby is being loved on and rocked to sleep by another person.  That she doesn't get to hug and kiss her baby goodnight.  But then I also wanted to take her out of her mom’s hands.  That’s when I realized I’m a little too attached. J

I think I’ll be better prepared for next parent visiting day. So thankful that God sent me to love on each one of these children and I know they are blessing me way more than I have blessed them.